Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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