the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
