His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize