i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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