I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize