A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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