im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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