i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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