nut hugger
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't deserve a penis
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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