Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
