so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
