Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
