What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
