is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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