buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
