Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
