im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize