almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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