Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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(205): View more from Alabama

it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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(914): View more from New York

I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list

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(914): View more from New York

I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Cant promise that last part. I won't die though

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(360): View more from Washington

I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity

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(310): View more from California

I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020

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