Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
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also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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