its not stalking. its research.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
