He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
