So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
