I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
