man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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