when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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