I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize