ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
