Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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