The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize