Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
