I showed him my bush... on skype.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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