Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize