I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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