This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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