Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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I think pants incapable of making pants work
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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