i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
