Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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