Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
