she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's the barista slut.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the room spins SO much faster in panama
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
