bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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