Umm I'm too high to move.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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