No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
