She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
