You really coming over, don't trick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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