Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize