Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize