Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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