Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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