Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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