Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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