Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize