i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize