You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
