id be glad to
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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