We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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